I had a summer job in an engineering firm when I was at school. I worked for an engineer, and I was really interested in learning about what he does, but he was not interested in teaching me. He preferred to recruit men into roles that had career progression opportunities, because he had very old fashioned views about women in the workplace (that he was quite open about). I was never going to be anything more than an administrator if I wanted to continue working in that business. So, I decided that I didn't want to work there anymore. I wanted to have options.
The experience of having my gender dictate my role in the workplace was a very early baptism by fire, but it really did prepare me for later life. I did not let it change my character, or my femininity, but it did change the way that I approach things. I learned the power of negotiation.
When it comes to asking for a promotion or pay rise, if you feel that you have taken on more responsibilities, or you would like to, then treat it as a business transaction. There will be times when you hit a brick wall. There could be institutional reasons why you cannot progress (as was the case with my first job), so you need to weigh up the pro's and con's of taking your expertise elsewhere, sticking it out for a bit longer, or pursuing a different course of action.
Since leaving that first job, in subsequent positions when, for example, the question of salary came up, I have negotiated. In one case, I negotiated for two months before I got the salary that I knew my male counterpart would be getting. I treated the process as I would any other business negotiation. If you can present a reasoned argument with sound business sense, if you have exactly what they are looking for (or more), then don't give up. Your male counterpart wouldn't give up, because they don't see it as personal. It's just business.
Although the attitude of my first employer is completely different now (we still keep in touch and he's my biggest advocate now!), there are still people out there who are the gatekeepers of the glass ceiling. They may not be overt about it, but they do exist. However, don't let them stop you from achieving your full potential. As the saying goes, you cannot continue doing the same things and expect different results. Get used to negotiating.
One book that really helped me - it was like a lightbulb moment - is 'Getting to Yes: Negotiating An Agreement Without Giving In'. It is based on the Harvard Negotiation Project. I used to carry a copy around with me! It gave me the confidence I needed to hang in there, because it's ultimately about getting the best result for both sides.
Think about it. If both sides get what they want, it's a win win situation. In any negotiation, you are there as equals, otherwise it's not a negotiation. It's a hostile takeover.
Take The #Fear Out Of #Negotiating. #Women & #Careers: #Knowledge = #Empowerment https://t.co/bPKk0P9Dc3 pic.twitter.com/L0sFb4ryVf
— Danielle Curio (@DanielleCurio) November 24, 2015
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